Upon my arrival to Seattle from Philly I felt anxious to get to my PO Box to see if my season ski pass had come for Snoqualmie and it had definitely arrived, woo hoo! Much to my suprise, a welcomed suprise, I also had a letter from my younger cousin who is away at boarding school in Vermont.
My cousin is awesome and I lover her very much but we live far away and she has gone through some hard times, some of which I have been there to talk to her about and others I am only beginning to understand. I too went through a phase in my life where I rebelled and did nonsense my parents weren't happy about. I think we all do at some point in our lives, it's part of growing up and completely acceptable as far as I'm concerned. Some kids go through it worse than others but I think we can all agree that many lessons are learned along the way.
She wrote to tell me about her boyfriend, her life at her new school, what the school is like, etc. It was really great to hear from her and for her to give me so much information about her life at this point in time.
HERE COMES THE KICKER....
At the end of the letter she said: "Remember when you were going a rough patch for a while? I had one too. Do you ever feel like the failure of the family? I feel like I am sometimes. Have you ever felt that way?"
Now, my Aunt might be mad I'm writing about this but the thing is, Tess is a great kid and wicked smart, she just had a rough patch. Clearly I did too just based on what she said and I don't hide the choices/mistakes I have made in my life I just learn from them and move on.
For those of you just tuning in (99.9% of everyone I know knows this about me) I was young and stupid and got married at 19 to a guy in the military. This is only one of the really dumb things I've done and learned from in life but this had the biggest impact on everyone around me and is what my cousin was referring to with her questions.
Towards the end of the letter I wrote back to her I said:
Did I feel like the failure of the family? That’s a touch question to answer because I don’t really feel that failure was the right word but more of a disappointment in what I had done and the pain I had caused my family. But you know what, I changed my life around and I have been very successful and positive and it has brought me many good things. I have an amazing job, went back to college, made a great life for myself out here, and made my parents proud. If anything the feelings I had about that situation whether failure, disappointment, hurt, etc they drove me to be a better person and better my situation and my life.
Your parents love you so much and I love you too. Everyone goes through hard times in life it is how you choose to deal with them and move on from them that is important. For me I had to move out to Seattle all on my own and start over to get back on my feet and figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
You are afforded this great program that is going to give you tools on being successful in your life and being happy with yourself, which is awesome. You have no reason to feel like you’re a failure, you just took a wrong turn but you are righting that now just remember that! I know your mom and dad are very proud of you and so am I so keep it up! I realize this letter is totally cheesy but I care about you and I’m being honest with you and hopefully helping to lift your spirits. You’re not a failure never forget that! I love you very much and I can’t wait to hear back from you! Lets keep the letters coming!
Love,
Erin
p.s. Never think failure always think success! You’re a smart cookie and you’ll get through this and when you do you will see how proud everyone is of you and how proud you will be of yourself! Trust me!
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