Self Reflection

Over the last month I somehow allowed myself to slip into this negative state about life, work, school, etc and I began to really let it drag me down. I was letting other people around me directly affect me. Over the last week or so I have learned a lot about myself that hurts to be told or reflect on but I know it is something I need to do to become a better person.

One of the main things I have learned is that negativity is like a bad habit and can easily spin out of control if you do not stop it dead in its tracks and realize all you have. This is something I have found the hardest to get out of over the other things I have learned.

The second and most important thing I learned is how to interact with other people. I know this is a very general statement but I will explain the aspects in which I mean.

I need to:

(1) I need to think before I speak.
(2) I need to make sure that what I am about to say will not hurt the other person and will only help the situation, hence nothing negative.
(3) Along the same lines as number 2, is to speak from the caring and loving mode and not the emotional side.
(4) If there is something on my mind I should just put it out there to talk about instead of holding it in.

Laying yourself on the line in this regard is really hard, especially for me. I realize that you don't always have to be right and you don't always have to be in your comfort zone. Over my life I have built many walls that I refuse to let rule my life anymore. The last 2 years have been a huge learning experience about who I am as a person, what I want in life, and what I am going to do to get it. This is just one step closer to being able to fully understand who I am and achieve my goals. I can honestly say that I don't know I would have learned any of this without the help of Todd. We both are very similar and very emotional people and he has really helped me to see these things in which I need to change to become a better person as I have done the same for him.

To my family - The only thing I wish is that I had learned these things earlier in life but that's just part of living! I feel fortunate to have come as far as I have in such a short period of time and for being so young. I think these are things people generally don't figure out until later in life or they are too afraid to really take a deeper look at themselves. I thank you all for being there for me and standing by me through all the things I have done and gone through in life. I have learned so much from each experience and I am sorry if I have hurt you in anyway throughout my journey.

To Steven - I don't know that I would have made it in Seattle without you. You have helped me to bring all that I have learned full circle and understand how I need to proceed. You are definitely my mentor and friend and I cannot thank you enough for all you have done for me since I have been at eProject.