to be or not to be that is thy question

The man/woman dynamic is a funny thing. Some relationships work with ease and others don't. However, keeping a healthy relationship is all about working together as a team. It's all about compromise, understanding and being there for each other, among other things.

The relationship I am currently in I feel like there is a constant struggle, a competition perhaps. It's a competition over nothing and about nothing in particular. We argue about the dumbest things you could possibly imagine and then argue later about who said what or how it was interpreted.

I know there are 3 rules of fighting and I'm not sure if I have called them out before in a blog...

1) Do not point fingers. Most likely you are both to blame and it doesn't really matter who started it.

2) Do not, I repeat, do not play the he said she said game. During a heated discussion you do not remember what was said and when it was said you just know you're upset.

3) It's more than likely you have morphed it into another fight and you need to get back to the real reason one or both of you got upset in the first place.

I'm dating someone who is just about a year and a half younger than me but I feel as if a lot less emotionally mature. I understand the dynamic between men and women and the do's and don'ts. However, that does not mean I always apply my knowledge (though I try my best) it just means I am aware it exists and how it should be handled. On occasion I can be persuaded (for lack of a better word) to stoop to someone else’s level and play that game but I prefer not to and I am very upset with myself when I allow this to happen. Lately that has been the case for me and I am very unhappy and I do not know what I should do about it. I can also be rash in the things I say, so to combat this I have learned that when I get upset I just get quiet. It's more of a safeguard than anything else so that the spew, as my dad so kindly called it, doesn't come flying out. Everyone has this issue deep down it's whether they let it actually come out and if it's censored or not that matters.

All of what I have described above I have learned to deal with in an appropriate manner though I admit there are times that I cannot help myself and that is something I will continue to work on. But here is the question:

Can he catch on to how things work and we can repair this issue? Is this something that only can be learned with time through several relationships?

I don't have the answer and I wish I did because it's a matter of hanging on and working it out or letting go and moving on. I think I'll try and work on it for a while and see what happens...